Feeling paranoid and being overweight(and well, my day)

I don’t know if I am alone in this, but I think other fat people think the same. I feel like every time some people are laughing, they are laughing at me. I know it is silly and most people do not, but today I had not eaten for hours and what I did eat was two croquetes (a thing my mom makes, but they’re practically like balls of pork, its hard to describe but it was not a lot) this morning and it was almost 8 pm, anyways, I bought a pudding from the school and was eating it during my last class and I had a few girls a couple of rows from me giggling and I felt like they were laughing at me. I don’t know, I know it is silly to think so,but it is just something I always feel like.

And not only that, in my psychology class we were talking about how being overweight affects children and whatnot, and I felt like maybe my classmates may have been looking at me because I am one of the few overweight people in the class. Again, its being crazy, but still. I think others who are overweight might feel the same, they may not. Maybe I am crazy, but I don’t know.

Anyways, today I felt really bad about myself. I don’t know why, but I felt like maybe I gained weight and I know it isn’t true, If i did gain any from yesterday it would have only been maybe a pound, but if you ever struggled with weight, you know exactly what it feels like. I wore a dress that I love and I felt like maybe I looked horrible in it. I want to be back in the old mood I had where I am not as negative as I feel lately about my weight.

Anyways, tomorrow I will try to workout and try to increase my intake of water. So far I have only drank two bottles of water for the day and I know it should be around 8 a day. I feel so stressed and feel like November will be around the corner and I won’t be in a good size. However, I need to remind myself that by complaining and stressing about it won’t help, I need to take more charge and initiative and work on myself. Nothing will happen just by being negative about it, I need to remember: baby steps. I can do this. I just have to remind myself of that.

2 thoughts on “Feeling paranoid and being overweight(and well, my day)

  1. Weightloss is a funny thing isn’t it?? as it is also a state of mind, which is the hardest thing to tackle. Its good to let out how you feel and at the end you had positive thoughts, so hopefully that blog worked. Keep up the good work, baby steps is always the best way 🙂


    1. Thank you! I feel like maybe people will think I’m a really negative person because every blog entry I write is mainly negativity, but it’s more to just vent and let it out. The state of mind is really being a pain to deal with tbh. Im trying, it’ll happen.


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