I don’t know if I am alone in this, but I think other fat people think the same. I feel like every time some people are laughing, they are laughing at me. I know it is silly and most people do not, but today I had not eaten for hours and what I did eat was two croquetes (a thing my mom makes, but they’re practically like balls of pork, its hard to describe but it was not a lot) this morning and it was almost 8 pm, anyways, I bought a pudding from the school and was eating it during my last class and I had a few girls a couple of rows from me giggling and I felt like they were laughing at me. I don’t know, I know it is silly to think so,but it is just something I always feel like.
And not only that, in my psychology class we were talking about how being overweight affects children and whatnot, and I felt like maybe my classmates may have been looking at me because I am one of the few overweight people in the class. Again, its being crazy, but still. I think others who are overweight might feel the same, they may not. Maybe I am crazy, but I don’t know.
Anyways, today I felt really bad about myself. I don’t know why, but I felt like maybe I gained weight and I know it isn’t true, If i did gain any from yesterday it would have only been maybe a pound, but if you ever struggled with weight, you know exactly what it feels like. I wore a dress that I love and I felt like maybe I looked horrible in it. I want to be back in the old mood I had where I am not as negative as I feel lately about my weight.
Anyways, tomorrow I will try to workout and try to increase my intake of water. So far I have only drank two bottles of water for the day and I know it should be around 8 a day. I feel so stressed and feel like November will be around the corner and I won’t be in a good size. However, I need to remind myself that by complaining and stressing about it won’t help, I need to take more charge and initiative and work on myself. Nothing will happen just by being negative about it, I need to remember: baby steps. I can do this. I just have to remind myself of that.